Last Night I Dreamed That Somebody Loved Me
by piperandleo4eva
Summary: Sawyer/Claire, post-season 4. He can't close his eyes anymore. Juliet knows something's up, because he's never been the type to volunteer to take guard duty before, but she knows better than to say anything, because she has her own nightmares.


Written for the Lost Comment Fic Battle at lostsquee. Prompt: plans, Claire/Sawyer.

He can't close his eyes anymore.

Juliet knows something's up, because he's never been the type to volunteer to take guard duty before, but she knows better than to say anything, because she has her own nightmares.

It doesn't seem to matter.

If Sawyer doesn't sleep, he sees Claire when he's staring out into the blackness of the jungle at night. He sees her laughing, her arms full of baby, lifting him up and twirling him around. Sometimes she holds out her hand to Sawyer and asks him to come with her. Some nights he almost does.

Miles sees her too. Sawyer knows because Miles looks at him and seems to mock him with his eyes. Sawyer always looks away. He knows it's all his fault, and he doesn't need Miles to remind him.

After two weeks on the run, after two weeks of snatched moments of sleep interrupted by dreams of Claire, Charlotte accosts him.

"You need to sleep." she tells him. "Not because I'm so concerned for your welfare, but because you're our leader, whether you like it or not, so act like one and set an example. Stop waking up panicked, because people are scared."

"I don't want to be your damn leader." he grumbles.

"You're all we have." she shoots back. "So man up and get used to it."

There's déjà vu for a second, and he remembers Hugo telling him basically the same thing, and he wishes, as he did then, that Jack was still there. That's not a good feeling.

That night he dreams of Claire again. She's dressed in the jeans and shirt he last saw her in, and she's still got the bandage on her head. She walks over to where he's lying on the ground and straddles him.

"Find me, James." she whispers in his ear. "Save me."

He tries to push her off, because he can't save anyone, especially not her, but she's surprisingly resilient, and she holds on.

"I need you, James." she whispers. "We all need you." And with that, she lowers her mouth to his and kisses him.

It's deep and warm, and he never expected her to be this bold, but he never really knew her at all, did he, and then he's kissing her back with even more ferocity.

She pulls away, but remains sitting on him. "You will find me, James, won't you?"

As if he could say no after that kiss with her on top of him. "Where are you?"

"Find the cabin, James. Find the cabin and find me."

She gets up then and walks away, but turns back, and it's not her anymore, it's the man from the bar in Sydney. "Find her," he says, and then Sawyer wakes up in a cold sweat with her scent in his head.

He grabs his gun, a bottle of water, and some fruit, but Juliet is in front of him, blocking his path, talking about time travel and the Dharma Initiative and safety. He barely hears her because he knows now what he's supposed to do. He never believed in all that destiny crap Locke spewed, but this, going to rescue Claire, feels right in both his heart and his head, and he pushes Juliet aside without a word.

Charlotte is there next, with a hand on his chest and he knows she's going to give him the leader speech again, so he beats her to it.

He raises his voice so that they can all hear him, because he won't repeat himself. "I'm going after Claire." he says. "She's one of us, and I can't just leave her behind." He looks at Charlotte and Juliet. "It's what Jack would have done. You all should follow Juliet and stick to the plan. I'll meet up with you when I've got Claire. " Then he looks at Miles. "It's my fault she's lost, so it's my responsibility to get her found." This is new, responsibility, and he finds he doesn't mind it as much as he thought he would.

No one stops him now as he dumps the fruit and water in a bag and slings one gun over his shoulder and another in his waistband. Miles does meet him near the edge of their camp with a bag and gun of his own. "I know where she is." he says, and Sawyer nods and starts walking. Miles doesn't follow, and Sawyer turns back.

"No sense in wasting daylight." he says, and he's gratified to see that Miles follows this time. Sawyer doesn't look back after that, just straight ahead to the cabin. To Claire.


End file.
